Just Ramblings 嫻言嫻語

清晨5:00, 起床, 換片, 喂奶, burp, 等他入睡, 雙眼不停的瞄視時鐘, 一分一秒的的的嗒嗒.

時間啊, 不要跑得那麼快, 我要追不上了………

這一天, 每一分每一秒也過得快.

為了他的尿片玩具, 為了可以繼續用Laura Mercier, Shu Emura 畫皮, 拚了! 連那丁點的助教津貼也不要放過. 所以, 今天堅持要上助教訓練班.

禮堂很小, 勉強擠下250+人, 遲進場的人只好坐樓梯. 主持人甚至勸籲現職助教離場, 又新助教要是感到身體不適或任何”合理”原因需要提早離場的請自便, 日後到有關部門拿來錄影帶觀看便可.

原來, 繁華太平盛世裡等錢洗的人不只我一個!

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妹子, 媽子和弟弟來訪, 快一星期了. 這段日子也沒有和他們到過那裡, 仿佛只去過一趟兩趟購物, 也不過是超市和時裝店.

太忙了, 忙家中的事, 忙學校的事, 忙孩子託兒中心的事, 忙孩子(定期健康檢查)和個人健康(忽然殺出個入學physical examination report, 又見醫生又驗血)的事, . ….沒完沒了啊!

突然希望每天有48小時, 不不不, 我不太貪心, 給我每天96小時吧, 我會很滿足. 要是時間可以停頓讓我可以從容的去辦要辦的事就更感激!

星期天和加菲, 加菲媽和姐喝茶, 難得他們抽時間來見面, 還有, 窮書生(實質是很富有的)更掏荷包請客, 除了感謝也只好給他多套幾頂高帽. hehehe…..朋友原來就是這樣的盡在不言中.

妹子每天也有朋友來訪, 帶著她和媽子等外出, 說穿了就是來充個司機要職. 這一些朋友, 當然都是男生. 忽然想起一個詞句: 觀音兵團. 誰知一不小心說成觀光兵團, 呵呵, 其實也一樣, 反正都是帶他們四處觀光. 她的這支兵團龐大, 可以比美Octavian Casar 戰勝Marcus Brutus的那隊兵馬.

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Tired.. tired tired. … however though, I really would like to write something. There are movies and TV shows I would like to talk about; there are moments with Nate I would like to share with; there are loads of paperworks and doctor visitings I would like to get rid of … blah blah blah.. this damn list can go on forever.

Tired, tired, tired.. so tired that I can’t even think.

Oh well, where to start?

Nate is doing well. He turned one month old last Sunday. He’s now 9lb 8oz. Gained 2 pounds since he’ s born (actually it should be more than that since he lost quite a lot of weight during the first week.) Everythings fine at his one month check up. Doctor said his weight, his height, and his head size are just under the 50%, an average infant. Of course, to us, he’s not average, at least not his intelligence. He can lift up his head while sleeping on his belly (he did it the second day after he’s born! I was nursing him and he got frustrated, pushed his hands on my shoulders and lifted his head, put his crying face right in front of me!). He smiles a lot, not yet responding to our smiles though. He’s sensitive to noise. Sometimes I’d call his name while he’s eating. He stops to listen, then goes back to eat again. This kid has a very strong character (wonder where he gets that? oops..). He cries to the top of his lungs and would push away his favorite pacifier when he’s really upset. Usually it’s because he’s hungry, the biggest problem and concern he has. His gas problem is getting better and the spitting problem does not seem to bother him much. The only problem he gives me now is the laundry. Gee.. I am sick of doing laundries everyday!

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As I zipped up the last drop of earl gray in the tea cup this morning, I found a moment of peace in days. I’ve been seeing the sun rises with a crying baby in arms for days. Finally, I am able to enjoy this very precious moment of tranquility (although brief).

Nate has been spitting up for days. Babies do spit up, it’s just part of their eating habit (well, to make it sound better). People around told me he’s fine. However, as a mother and the sole close caretaker, I noticed it’s not as a simple matter as most people think. He spits up and he cries a lot. Sometimes he even vomits. His little face turns red and every facial muscle seems twisted, while his little hands and legs clutch tightly. He would cry and scream for hours in the afternoon or at nights. I have no doubt that he’s having some pain while trying to get that freaking burp out. I am tired of changing him and changing myself. I am tired of smelling like milk and baby formula. I am even more tired of trying desperately to sooth him. I danced with him, I sang for him, I talked to him, I put him in the stroller, in the bouncer, nothing seemed work. I could not comfort my poor crying boy. Many times I just wanted to join in. Oh yeah, there were moments when mommy and baby cried together. I sound lame but it is overwhelming for me. At the beginning, after checking his temperature and everything, we thought he’s colicky. He did burp a lot after eating. But then as days went by, I noticed it’s not that simple. And I wanted to have a diagnosis. It turned out that my worse suspicion was true, he has infant reflux problem. No wonder he’s in so much pain. My poor boy.

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Happy Anniversary!

四年了, 不經不覺四年就這樣過去.

還記得那天清晨下著大雨, 坐在梳妝台前, 化妝師細心的給我塗上眼耳口鼻,  鬚邊別上艷紅的玫瑰花; 在Prissy協助下穿上紅色傳統禮服, 一片喜氣洋洋的. 

雨停了, 玻璃窗外灰色的海水倒映灰藍色的天空.

那天, 我們成了夫婦. 四週年了.

今天, 我們己是父母. 三星期了.

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Day 1 — Welcome, my precious!

“Nathan. Nathan? Nathan?!”

診所裡的護士叫了幾遍我才從如夢中醒來, 連忙上前直認:”Yes, I am his mom.” 引來候診室裡各媽媽們的注目. 見我一身印度西施般的打扮, 大熱天時穿了裙子卻又穿外套, 又穿legging, 舉止斯文(其實是體力所限), 語氣溫柔(實在是有氣無力, 也不過是從停車場走過來的一段小路程), 背著個填得滿滿的diaper bag(有如需要帶diaper bag嗎 也不過是離家10分鐘路程), 還有腹前那個洩了氣的小皮球, 一看就知是新丁媽咪. 可是我的身邊又沒有寶寶, 古古怪怪的, 也不知是不是那個瘋婆子攪錯了誤闖進兒科診所. (交剪和Nate在車內等著, 因為候診室裡人多, 而且來的大多是病人, 不想他在那兒久待,到護士叫名時我才通知他們到來.)

做了媽媽快三星期了, 還在一天天的適應這個媽媽的角色. 家裡人打電話來稱呼就是:”感覺如何呀, 人哋阿媽?” 我總要頓一頓氣才反應過來.

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“It is only with the heart that one can see; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

“You are beautiful, but you are empty. One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you–the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.”

—Little Prince

Have you found your Rose? Have you learned to love it Right?

世上珍貴的東西如其多

不及你的一哭一笑

我願如此天天相伴左右

一分一秒任他歲月流金

只有你 比那一件珠翠華衣更矜貴